her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This baby is an asshole
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
