It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
