Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
