Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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