North Korea, Best Korea!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
