I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
