PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
