just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
