Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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