DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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