So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
