i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
honey bunches of taint.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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