Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
