Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
