just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize