your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
