what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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