Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize