she was so not down for the gang bang
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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