It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
