i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize