last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
