Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
