oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize