Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
