I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
