My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
