you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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