um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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