I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
