We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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