I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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