Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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