Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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