i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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