it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
