evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
