none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
