its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
