im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think i have herpe
just one?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
