He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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