Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
