why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
