Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your cock deserves a montage
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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