So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
