i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
