so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize