Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
