All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
