Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
