they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
