there's paper in my vomit.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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