Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
