we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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