Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
