Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
