But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
