I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
