Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize