just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
