So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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