Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
