that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i will never coherently bang her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
