Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
