My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
