just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize