yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
