She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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